no sleep.

ok, to write how I feel. I don't really know. Slept last two days alot, worried that I was getting very depressed again, but feeling on edge all the time I was awake. Can't do anything. My mind goes into overdrive. "I'll mess that up, what about that/////and that//////and that//// and ///// and///// and/////.
Fuck it, go to sleep and stop it or start crying. But I can't hardly cry anymore. Just alot of nothing there.
And now, didn't sleep at all last night. Well, about an hour ten to eleven, then wide awake all night.
So what the fuck is wrong with me????

I need to volunteer at the old folks home. I can't accomplish anything else right now. Get busy and do something for someone!!!!

L back home. How do I feel? That I should start with how do I feel says alot, don't it!!!!!
Nancy is worrying about how L feels and how I feel, and I am thinking about how I feel!!
He and I are so much alike. I worry that in some way I made him become like me, to treat situations like he learned from his old dad? I seem to genuine be this bipolar thing and I think he is also.
(I think we would both be better off in the woods somewhere with a couple of rifles a pack of matches and a knife))(.~!!)(!)(!)(!))!))!))!)J()J_)J_)J__)What is it0)(!J)(!.