the story

Chapter 1

Elaina

How had she gotten here? She had been so sure when she had left home and run away with him. Him, of the toothy, confident grin that meant everything was alright and there was a different way than the way she was going. Which, of course , had been the way of her mother and her mother before her; church, marriage, children, grandbabies, death. But he had let her see a glimpse of another world. This other world valued her and her thoughts. It valued her intellect. It valued her beauty. It valued her abilities and her instincts.  And she had been swept up in Craig’s bravado. They were special together. They belonged together. They could accomplish anything together.  But not here.  Not around her controlling family. The world she needed was out there waiting for them, and all she had to do was follow him and he would show it to her. And now here she was. And she could see the world.

Jamie was crying. He was always crying when she got home from work. As usual, Craig had begged her for a few dollars and was out the door. Gone to his other lover, she guessed; the bar across town. The owner had recently fell for his guile, the same way she once had, and let him start a tab. The money was for the cab fare there. She was sure that that grin would find him a ride home when he had nowhere else to go.  Oh, not that she didn’t know about the other women.  There were the occasional faint smells just too sweet and fragrant to come from soap, nor his latest and greatest hair gel. Or then there were the mints, a dead giveaway, surely used for someone other than her. He had long since quit caring about cleaning up for his old lady. But yet, she still thought she loved him. If only for Jamie, the real love of her life, and the memories of what they had had once.

“Come here honey, let mommy change that wet diaper.”Jamie had just started rambling, that investigation of walking where each step can lead to a different adventure and direction, sometimes leading to the conclusion of his first thought but, more often than not, leading to something totally different. A trip across the floor to mama’s smiling face might just as soon end in an impromptu conversation with the cat, a short visit with an old toy that suddenly seemed a lot different when viewed from a different angle, or a sudden jolt of pain from something that had just taken a disliking to his head, toe, knee or some other innocent part of his body.  But life was strange and exciting, and hurts were things that weren’t thought about until they happened. Oh, to look at life that way again. The confidence and daring of ignorance! That is something she ached for. Unfortunately, she realized with a smile to herself, it was something that too many people with authority still possessed. If there was one thing that life had taught her it was that power and wealth held no conscious. It merely existed and was pawns to the wicked and the well intentioned equally. Still, you had to take a side. You could not exist without your group. You had to have some kind of meaning to keep going. She reached up and fingered the cross she wore around her neck as she often did for comfort. She had chosen her colors and wore them proudly, yet not ostentatiously.  Going on three years since she had entered the church in panic, a newly pregnant teenage stripper with a drug habit and a no account boyfriend. She had learned a lot about herself in these last few years. She had learned she didn’t need to know the why and how of everything. She had learned that she functioned very well just concentrating on the things that were happening in the here and now. But most important, she now was sure what side she was on.

 

Chapter 2

Eli knew the answer. He didn’t need the asshole in the mirror telling him every morning. It was getting harder and harder to look into the eyes of this image of a man familiar, yet oddly, much more serene and enthusiastic  than Eli had been in a long, long time. Eli grasped the sink and leaned over to stare into those eyes he saw every morning but no longer knew what they were thinking.

“Fuck you,  asshole”—The conversation started the same way every morning lately. And the image said nothing back-just looked right back into Eli’s eyes with that same level of detachment that he received from Millie and the boys.

“One of these days I’m gonna let this hair just grow all over your ugly ass face.” God he hated shaving. What a colossal waste of time. He had no idea how women spent so much time on how they looked, primping, dabbing, cutting, washing, trimming, plucking, brushing, clipping, combing and God knows what else. What in the hell are they thinking while all this is going on? “What the hell am I thinking staring into this mirror?”, he finally conceded to himself. “Well, at least that asshole ain’t started talking back to me yet!” Eli stepped back and looked at his midsection. The mashed potato roll around the middle had been there since his early thirties, but, except for the sparsely patches of belly and chest hair, his body looked basically the same as it had always looked. That continued to amaze him because he put absolutely nothing into keeping it looking that way. He had started walking with Millie lately just to keep her company and dropped 5 pounds. Boy had that pissed Millie off. She went on a rail that lasted twenty minutes that ended with her in a deep funk and him Campbells soup for supper. It still made him smile when he thought about it. She could be so cute when she was mad! “Oh well,” he said glancing back at the image.”I’ll see you tomorrow.”  “If you are lucky”  Eli wondered where that thought had come from. Oh well……